This Week in Faith 9-20-19

Sanctification By Sibling: Seven Encouragements For the Parents Who Love Them

Every set of siblings goes through ups and downs in their relationship. As parents, it can be hard to know what to do or how to respond when things aren’t going well. We love our kids and we want them to love each other because we love them. When our kids fight we want to fix it. And there are things we can do to help cultivate healthy relationships in our home. But we also wait. We wait for them to mature, to grow in their ability to thrive in healthy relationships. And we wait for the Holy Spirit to shape their hearts and lives. This is not an easy process but there is hope and encouragement. Sometimes we just long for our kids to like each other, let alone love each other. Other times we are pleasantly surprised by the peace and joy that shows up in the midst of siblings. No matter what season you are in, there are some god words here for you.

Click here to read the article by Anna Meade Harris.

6 Ways to Bring Light to Heated Talks With Teenagers

Navigating difficult conversations with our kids never seems to go as smoothly as we hope it will. And as our kids get older, the conversations become more challenging and nuanced because they are learning to think more for themselves and distinguishing their beliefs from ours as their parents. In a lot of ways, this is a good thing. This is our job- to bring them to a place where they are able to think for themselves about faith and life so they can take ownership of these things for themselves. But there are plenty of opportunities for conflict along the way. Here are some helpful things to think about as we talk with, and even disagree with our kids about things. The author challenges us to “Resolve to be more interested in [our kids] than you are irritated by them.” This is really hard sometimes but its something I want to pray for God to do in my own heart. I hope it’s your prayer too.

Click here to read the article by William Smith.

An Open Letter to the Parent Who Has Lost a Child

Some of you may have lost a child. Others of you may be close to someone who has. What do we do if, or what would you do when, that terrible day comes? I was actually at a conference with Cameron Cole the week he got the call from his wife that their young son had died. We are not friends, just acquaintances that see each other maybe every other year. But over the last few years, I’ve gotten the chance to hear him speak, read what he writes, and talk to him briefly. I am always amazed at the ways Jesus has clung to him and sustained him through this tragedy. These are some poignant words from him for those who are walking through the same thing he has. And I think they are helpful for those who are walking with others through this as well. 

Click here to read the article by Cameron Cole.

VIDEO: 5 Essentials For Talking to Your Kids About Sex

No matter what age your kids are, this video gives some important things to remember as you start and continue these conversations with your kids. This is not just one big conversation you have when they are a certain age. It’s a regular conversation you should be having with your kids from the time they are young, starting with the first time your child asks you where babies come from. But one of the most important things he talks about are the things we can focus on in our own lives that will give the conversations we have more impact. No matter how old your kids are and where you are in this process, I hope this helps.

Click here to watch the video with David White.

This Week in Faith 9-12-19

Don’t Give Up Praying For Your Children

Being a parent is not easy! But it can be easy to lose heart. As parents, we go through different seasons with our kids. There are times when we feel encouraged by our kids faith in Jesus or interest in spiritual things. There are other times when we feel like a parenting failure and not sure what to do next. Don’t give up! God has not forgotten about your kids. He is chasing them down because he loves them. Now, the process may not always make sense but God is good and faithful, so we can trust him.

This article is a much needed reminder that God is at work in the hearts and lives of our kids and prayer is a way we get to participate in that process. Whether your kids are joyfully following Jesus, rebelliously running away from him, or somewhere in between, I hope this article, and especially the last 2 paragraphs, will remind you of the hope we have in a God that never gives us on us…or our kids.

Click here to read the article by Jon Bloom.

Aspire to Live Quietly

This was a good article for me to read. I struggle at times with a discontentment rooted in the realization, “I thought I would have accomplished more by this point in my life.” The idea we get as we look around at much of the culture we are apart of is that the best kind of life is the one with the biggest accomplishments and the most people watching. But Scripture, 1 Thessalonians 4 in particular, gives us a different picture.

This is helpful for us to remember as we take stock of our lives and decide what to value most. But it’s also an important concept we want to build into our kids from an early age. Our kids will hear ideas about what makes the good life from many voices in their lives. But we have the opportunity, from an early age, to help them see the value of “aspiring to live quietly” for the honor of Jesus. And developing peace as an overarching strategy for social media use is a practical goal we can use to guide them.

The value of an insignificant life comes in making less of ourselves so that we can make much of Jesus.

Click here to read the article by David Wetherell.

Helping Your Teens Use Their Phones For Good

Who better to help us parents help our teenagers use their phones well than a teenager! This is a helpful article by a high school student on some things that have been helpful for her as she has cultivated a healthy use of technology in her own life, as well as some things her parents have done to help her get there. What she says is true, that every family is different, so none of us will approach these topics exactly the same. But it's helpful to hear what has worked for others. I talked to a parent recently who said they have been implementing some things in their house to help everyone, including themselves, use technology less but better. I also like her suggestion of working with your kids to develop a healthy philosophy and habits for technology so they learn to apply these things long after they leave our homes.

Click here to read the article by Katherine Forster.

BOOKS: Talking to Your Kids About Gender and Disabilities

There are two new books that are in the library and I also have copies in my office you can have.

God Made Boys and Girls: Helping Children Understand the Gift of Gender

I get questions all the time about how to talk to your kids from an early age about  gender. This book does a great job of helping kids understand God’s purpose and beauty in gender, as well as some helpful questions to ask and practices to consider.

God Made Me Unique: Helping Children See Value in Every Person

This book helps kids understand how they will encounter people with all sorts of disabilities but these are not something to be afraid of. It helps you to think with your child about the value every person has from being made in the image of God, regardless of their appearance or abilities.

**This is a great series that includes books on talking to your kids about diversity and talking to them about their bodies. These other books are also in the library or in my office.

This Week in Faith 9-5-19

You Are Not Your Child’s Sin

This is a really important reminder- “[Parents are] not built to bear [their] kids’ sin. There is only One strong enough to bear the guilt of others, and his name is Jesus.” It is so easy for us to feel guilt and shame over our kids’ wrong behavior. We hear the comments people make about someone else’s parenting and wonder what those parents say about our parenting when we’re not around. We see people’s faces as they watch our kids act out and we can only imagine what they are thinking. We know what we’ve thought about other people’s parenting and then our child begins to do the same thing. The gospel frees us from carrying this burden as we place it on Jesus. it doesn’t abdicate us from the responsibility of parenting. But it does allow us to do it with freedom and joy because there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. [Romans 8:1] I hope this article is a breath of fresh air for you today as you wrestle with the failures of your children but do it depending on his power to work in your kids and resting in the identity that has been secured by Jesus. I also hope it helps us be slower to condemn parents around us when their kids misbehave but quicker to pray for and encourage those parents with the hope of the gospel because sooner than later, we are going to be desperate for the same.

Click here to read the article by Gretchen Ronnevik.

How to Pray When Your Kids Go Off to College

There is a lot of good wisdom in this article on praying for your kids whether they are in your house or away in their next season of life. We often become frustrated with ourselves as parents because we feel like we should be doing more. But as he says in the article, “It’s possible the most valuable thing you will ever do for your kids is to pray for them.”

Thanking God for your kids, praying specifically, and telling your kids you are praying for them are just a few of the helpful ideas he elaborates on in this article.

Click here to read the article by Sam Crabtree.

On Daughters and Dating: How to Intimidate Suitors

This article isn’t what you think from the title. But it is an important read. Kelly and I have talked about what our plan is when Emily begins to bring guys home to date. We have talked about the conversations we want to have and the opportunity it is to invest in young men. We heard Dennis Rainey speak a couple years ago about this and he has written a great book on how to initiate great gospel conversations with guys that come to date your daughter. The goal is to show them that you care about them and want what’s best for your daughter, and them.

But this article talks about what we can do in the meantime…raise strong, Godly daughters who make wise decisions in who they are interested in and in who they attract. I love this way of thinking and no matter how old your daughter is now, I hope it can help give you a healthy vision for the dating years and how to prepare for them.

Click here to read the article by Jen Wilkin.

5 Tips For Helping Your Teens Study the Bible

Written by a teenager, this article gives some practical ideas to help your kids learn to love the Bible. Helping our kids learn to love and study the Bible for themselves is an important part of helping them stick with heir faith for a lifetime. This is one of the reasons the studies we are doing with middle and high schoolers this fall include reading for them to do during the week. Our hope is this will give your kids some tools to study the Bible for themselves and give you opportunities to have conversations with them about it. Encourage them to do the reading during the week. Ask them questions about what they are learning. Even do the reading at the same time as them. I think the Pray For Me books will help to this end also. Pick a time where your whole family can read and pray at the same time. Or talk about the reading for the day. Or the thoughts you wrote down at the end. Your love for God’s Word and your desire for your kids to love it too are two of the means by which God can produce a genuine love for Jesus in them.

Click here to read the article by Katherine Forster.

This Week in Faith 8-22-19

ANNOUNCEMENTS

Pray For Me- Join the Pray For Me Campaign at Faith this year! The challenge to our church is to have every adult praying, and every student K-12 prayed for, for a whole school year. We are excited about this opportunity and the impact it can have on our church. For more info, and a chance to participate, click here!

Fall Sunday School Classes- This Sunday begins our new fall Sunday school curriculum. Drop-off and pick-up for all ages will be in their classrooms.

Student Ministry End-of-Summer Retreat- August 30-September 1, for all middle and high school students. This will be a great weekend. I hope your students will come, and bring a friend with them. For more info, and to register, click here. 

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How to Navigate Youth Sports As Christ-Followers

“The more our kids see sports as opportunity, the less likely they will be to make it their identity (the same goes for us as parents).”

This is a difficult issue and one that Kelly and I are trying to figure out as best we can as we go. Now that Emily is in high school and, as a 7th grader, Micah can play middle school sports, the challenge is growing and we are wanting to navigate it well. Sports can be a helpful thing for the growth and maturity of our kids, as well as an opportunity to build relationships and share their faith. but sports can also become an ultimate thing, an idol, that sucks the life out of a family and lures them away from connections to church and faith. This article does a good job of laying out some of the opportunities, some of the dangers, and giving some good questions at the end to honestly ask and answer as a family.

Click here to read the article by Mike McKee.

3 Lessons I learned Form My Husband About Fatherhood

This is a beautiful picture of the value and joy of fatherhood. As a foster parent, a mentor in our public schools for the last 9 years, and a student pastor for the last 20 years, I have seen the pain and brokenness that can result from fatherlessness. But God has also given me hope. Hope in the lives of fathers whose mistakes have been redeemed. Hope in seeing students who grew up without a father [or at least a good one] become great parents. A hope that God is growing in me for the future- for the future of absent, aloof, and abusive dads- who God can still rescue and begin to write a different story in their lives. And even for the hope that, having experienced the faithful love of a heavenly Father, kids can break the cycle of fatherlessness they’ve been a part of. 

If you are a dad, half the battle is just showing up day after day. Ask God for the ability to be faithful. And once you are there, God is using you to shape the hearts of your kids and lead them to Jesus. No matter your past, I hope you have encouragement and vision for what God longs to do through you as a parent.

Click here to read the article by Erika Andersen.

The Three Most Important Lessons Christians Can Learn In College

As parents, the list can feel a mile long for the things we want to make sure we have talked about with our kids, and we hope our kids have grasped, before we send them out on their own. This is a helpful list of three things and why they’re important. But I also think its never too early to start talking about these things with your kids and cultivating an environment in your home where these things are valued and talked about.

Click here to read the article by Will McGee.

VIDEO: This Single Dad Has Fostered Over 50 Young Men

I thought this was an encouraging story about the power of investing in the next generation, no matter how old you are or the background you have.

Click here to watch the video from the Huffington Post.

This Week in Faith- 8-15-19

Pray For Me- On Sunday, we introduced the Pray For Me Campaign that we’ve created for this year. The challenge to our church is to have every adult praying, and every student K-12 prayed for, for a whole school year. We cited about this opportunity and the impact it can have on our church. For more info, and a chance to participate, click here!

Fall Sunday School Classes- This Sunday begins our fall Sunday school schedule. Drop-off and pick-up for all ages will be in their classrooms.

Student Ministry End-of-Summer Retreat- August 30-September 1, for all middle and high school students. This will be a great weekend. I hope your students will come, and bring a friend with them. For more info, and to register, click here. 

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Two Items I Wish We Could Send With Every New College Student

Thank you to those who were in the sanctuary this past Sunday during Sunday school as we celebrated the new 5th graders. It is a big milestone for those kids and it’s important that our church acknowledges this and helps them to see it. There are other milestones that we want to celebrate as kids get older also. Graduating and heading off to what’s next- college, work, military- is a big step. I like the ideas that she gives in this article for tangible things we can give kids heading off to college to remind them there are people that love them and a God that loves them even more. It’s why we give our high school seniors a Bible with notes from our student ministry leaders and highlighted verses inside it. The point is less what those tangible things are and more the fact that they have them and they have enough people who have impacted their lives to make those gifts significant. It’s why we are doing the Pray For Me campaign. This is an opportunity to introduce more adults into the lives of young people in our church so both now and when they leave us, they will know that there are adults that love them, have encouraged them in the faith, and they will thank God for it.

Click here to read the article by Kara Powell.

Don’t Squander the Little Years

This year, I am feeling the stretch of having kids in different stages. We have one in high school, one in middle school, one in elementary school, and one in preschool. But it is also helpful to remind me that, while each stage has its challenges, each stage also has its joys. I have been guilty at times of what he talks about in this article- longing for my kids to get to the next stage of life at the expense of enjoying the current one. In this article, he focuses on what God has for us as we parent kids in their early years [3 and under]. There are some really good reminders for us in here to encourage us when we are feeling physically exhausted from parenting our young ones. And his first paragraph is a great description of kids at that age :)

Click here to read the article by Dane Ortlund.

When Someone You Admire Abandons the Faith

There have a been a number of “de-conversions” in the news recently. Like the article points out- these are not the first and they will not be the last. Whether it is well known Christians who walk away from the faith or people close to you- in your family, from our church, people who have helped you grow spiritually- we experience a range of emotions. It can be hard for us and our kids to understand why this would happen. It’s important we talk about this with each other and our kids. This article gives us some good places to start the conversation and some needed encouragement to remind us that God is always at work, even in these sad stories.

Click here to read the article by Russell Moore.

Two Things We Can’t Overlook About Spider-Man: Far From Home

I know this movie has been out for awhile but technically it’s still showing at the Epps Bridge theater so its “current” :) This was a great movie. I saw it a couple times when it came out. Like the article talks about, it paints a vivid picture of the pressure I think a lot of our students regularly feel. And we are having these conversations right now as a student ministry leadership team as well. What is the healthy balance between having expectations but not having unreasonable expectations for their age? I desperately want our students, including my own kids, to take ownership of their faith and experience all the things that come with following Jesus. But I don’t want to overwhelm them with my expectations because I’m not patient enough to wait on what God is doing in them over time. If you are looking for an opportunity to talk about this with your kids and try to understand what pressures are weighing them down the most these days, maybe Spider-Man: Far From Home is a good place to start.

Click here to read the article by Tony Myles.

VIDEO: This Single Dad Has Fostered Over 50 Young Men

This short video shows the beauty and power of building relationships with the next generation, no matter how old you are or what stage of life you’re in.

Click here to watch the video from the Huffington Post.