Parent Follow Up from the Lesson: Who Cares if You're a Boy or a Girl?
/**This is the lesson we did on Sunday, November 7 for high school and what we will do Wednesday, November 17 for middle school.
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Who Cares if You’re a Boy or a Girl?
TOPICS:
Identity, Gender, Feminism, Transgenderism
SCRIPTURES:
Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good. - Genesis 1:26,31
For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well. My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret, intricately woven in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me, when as yet there was none of them. - Psalm 139:13-16
He answered, “Have you not read that he who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” - Matthew 19:4-6
Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden. But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?” And he said, “I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.” He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?” - Genesis 3:7-11
For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now. And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first-fruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies. - Romans 8:22-23
But our citizenship is in heaven, and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body, by the power that enables him even to subject all things to himself. - Philippians 3:20-21
Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. - 2 Corinthians 5:17
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. - Romans 12:1-2
Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. - Galatians 6:2
NOTES: [while we talked about most of this content at middle school and high school, the lesson and our discussions varied some and this a combination of both]
Here are some common definitions fro frequently used terms:
Gender: attitudes, feelings and behaviors that a given culture associates with a person’s biological sex
Sex: biological make up or composition
Gender Identity: a person’s self-perception of whether they are male or female, masculine or feminine
Gender Dysphoria: experiencing distress, anguish, and conflict between their biological sex and perceived gender identity
Transgender: identifying or expressing a gender identity that does not match a person’s genetic sex
We looked at identity, gender, and how we see our bodies through the framework of Creation, Fall, Redemption, and Restoration. It’s a helpful framework for understanding lots of things about us and our world, and is particularly helpful here.
Creation
We are well made. We are designed with intentionality in the image of God which gives us dignity and worth. Even our feelings and emotions were created good and in his image. [Genesis 1:26,31; Psalm 139]
God made men and women before the fall which means there is something inherently good about male and female. They are also both necessary for us to understand the image of God. To lose or distort either one would diminish our understanding of who God is and what he is like.
There is a good description of understanding what it means to be male through the earthly life of Jesus in 10 Questions Every Teenager Should Ask and Answer about Christianity [p. 137-138]
Christianity has been the catalyst for acquiring dignity and rights in a world that has often taken those things from women. Even in the early church, despite the general population being a higher percentage male, the church has many more women. It was even a common insult of Christianity to say that it was a religion for women. Being created in the image of God gives us this understanding of women.
Because we are created by God and for God, he is the one that has the authority to tell us who we are and how life works best.
“A crucified creator is a God who has the authority to tell us what to do, who has the wisdom to know what is best for us, and who has proved that he can be trusted to tell us what is best for us.” [God and the Transgender Debate, p44]
Fall
Genesis 3 tells us one of the first effects of the fall is that Adam and Eve felt shame and uncomfortableness with their bodies. So it should not surprise us that even today many of us feel uncomfortable in our bodies in different ways.
When we feel like we don’t fit in our bodies, it’s not a sign that we need to change something about our bodies, but a reminder that we need a savior.
Romans 8 tells us that creation, including our bodies, are groaning for the redemption that awaits those who belong to Jesus. Again, when we have this sense that things are not right in our own bodies, it is not something that a new body or a new gender can fix. We need a new heart. This is why people who change their bodies or their gender to match their feelings rarely report actually feeling happier afterwards.
We would not think it right or loving to tell someone suffering from an eating disorder because they think they overweight that we agree with them because that’s how they feel. Or to tell someone thinking about taking their own life because they think their life is worthless that we agree with them because that’s what they think. The same is true when we respond to people who think they need a new body or a new gender. We tel them the reality of sin but with grace and the hope of the gospel.
There are people who may legitimately suffer with broken feelings of gender dysphoria or same-sex attraction for their whole lives. The hope of a new, glorious body and restored emotions await those who suffer faithfully for Jesus. [Philippians 3:20]
Redemption
In Christ, we are a new creation. We have new hearts and a renewed ability to glorify God with our minds and with our bodies. [2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 12:1-2]
This renewal gives us the ability to trust God’s Word more than our own feelings. We often hear “the heart wants what it wants” or “follow your heart”. But Scripture tells us that the heart is deceitful, above all things. So being in Christ gives us the desire and ability to follow Jesus and what he says over what our heart says. He is more trustworthy, reliable and true than our feelings. If he was willing to give his life for us and if we have been bought with a price, then we belong to him and we can trust that he has our best interests at heart.
Restoration
We won’t always have this sense that things aren’t right. Our hope is in Jesus, who will one day come and restore our bodies, minds, and hearts to the way they were in the garden before the fall.
How to Respond
Treat all people with the dignity and worth we are saying they are created with. Even though it may feel awkward or difficult, we are to treat even transgender people, or people struggling with their sexuality, with love. We love them by not making fun of them or shaming them. We love them by standing up for them against bullying. We love them by telling the truth. This is what it means to be pro-life.
We should not expect people who don’t know Jesus to want to live for Jesus. It’s only after an encounter with Jesus that they will have a desire to change their lives [Zaccheus, the woman at the well…]. So talk to people about him first.
Find your own identity in Jesus above anything else. Many people tend to find their identity in their sexuality today because that is what they see people around them doing. If you find your identity in Jesus, and live for him with joy, it gives people a picture of another way.
Like we talked about with the last lesson, be the kind of friend that others want to come to and are willing to share their struggles with. As you learn to find rest from your burdens and forgiveness for your sins in Jesus, then you can be the kind of person that helps others do the same. We are called to help carry each other’s burdens. [Galatians 6:2]
“You cannot help with a burden unless you come very close to the burdened person…so in the same way, a Christian must listen and understand, and physically, emotionally, spiritually, take up some of the burden with the other person. - Tim Keller
OTHER RESOURCES: [many of the resources from last week address identity and gender as well]
Books:
God and the Transgender Debate by Andrew Walker
The Secular Creed by Rebecca McLaughlin [the chapter: “Transgender Women are Women”
Books for Younger Kids:
God Made Boys and Girls by Marty Machowski
God Made Me in His Image by Justin and Lindsey Holcomb
Videos:
